This fragile life

It could have been yesterday, or ten years ago by this world's clock, but this story exists outside of time, outside of any dimention we are familliar with as we rush around in our busy lives. It could have happened in your own neighborhood, but would you have known it?
It was a dark night here on earth, clouds covered the sky and a new moon hid from sight far in outer space. But still, a worried father looked down on the broken heart of one of his children crying in a dark corner where she thought nobody would hear her. She'd never known her mother, only the picture she had found in the back of the basement gave her any idea what she had looked like. The day before had been a hard one, her father had come home drunk again, the bruises on her face still showed evidence of it. Scars on her wrists, still unhealed were a not so distant reminders of the pain she could not escape from no matter how hard she tried. Tonight, she was determined to escape. She trembled in emotional anguish, trying to block out the screams in her head. At fourteen years old, many would consider her still a child, but she had experienced more pain and hardships than most women four times her age. She looked down at the bump just beginning to show under her sweatshirt. Tonight marked four months since that horrible night in the basement, all she could really remember were the smells and sounds vividly emblazoned in her mind. There had been at least 4 or 5 of them, maybe more, she had lost conciousness long before it was over. She was too terrified to tell anybody, her father threatened to kill her if anybody found out. She took daily abuse at school by her classmates calling her fat, if only they knew the story behind the scenes.. if only.. if only they knew that she was being thrown into motherhood far before she was ready, in a world that many of them would do anything to pretend didn't exist.

She ducked her head as a few raindrops began to fall from the cloudy sky, nearly ignoring the way she was shivering from the cold. She had nothing left in her to feel anything anymore. No joy, no pain, just emptyness.

Underneath the tears she was a beautiful young woman, eyes that could win a person over in a moment if they had ever gotten the chance to sparkle, a smile that could have charmed a king, but it never got to show itself to the world, a heart as big as a mountain, that never knew love.

She stood up, turned down another ally and aimlessly wandered toward the river. She was out of options, she didn't know where to go. Another tear rolled down her cheek as she pulled her long dark hair to cover her face. She was so full of emotions, so inextricably tangled in thoughts running through her head, yet at the same time, empty and emotionless. She was at the bottom of the barrel, the end of the road, there was nobody to listen to her.

She came to the side of the river, a heavy rainfall all day had swollen it to it's brink. She stood there, staring into the dark, silently crying for help. A pair of headlights pulled up from the darkness of the forest across the nearby bridge. The driver turned to look at her, and drove off quickly with a look of disgust at the dirty clothes, the unkempt hair, the wild look in her eyes. She turned away, and with her heart racing, she walked off the ledge into the dark swirling water below, embracing the cold water as it closed her in, tossing and tumbling her tiny frame through the floodwaters. The pressure crushed upon her lungs, and before long they were filled with the icy cold water as her life slowly slipped out of her body, her unborn baby along with her.

My friend, that driver just might have been you. Two lives could have been saved that night if you had only let go of those judgemental thoughts, if you had only listened to that quiet voice in the back of your head. That child shares the same Father as you do, He wispers into your spirit to help out the helpless, but will you take the time to listen? This story doesn't have to end tonight, perhaps tomorrow you will come across that little girl, but will you take the time to stop?

Hey All

Don't know if anybody even reads this blog anymore.. I've lost a lot of friends over the past couple of years, mostly my own doing, but life goes on and I do still exist! :P I made a lot of mistakes in my day, but there's always forgiveness for every mistake waiting for the asking :) As George shaw once said: a life spent making nothing but mistakes is not only more homorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

I'll be posting some pictures soon, I can't do it from the computer I'm on right now...

As most all of you already know, I'm happily married, and loving life through the ups and downs. I've begun a long road of getting my life back where it needs to be and the progress feels great! Of course financial freedom would be amazing, but right now I'm focusing on getting myself where I need to be so I can be refreshed and ready for whatever life throws my way!

Hope somebody out there in the blogosphere remembers me and actually reads this!
Have a great week.. month.. year... life.. whatever. lol

Merry Christmas!

This time of year has always been a happy one for me, and this year is no exception. This past year I've lost much of who I am, the hills of life have pulled me down, people who I trusted turned against me, love became empty and lifeless, but I've found myself again. As I ponder the gift of love God has given us, I realize how much love there is in my life and although the pain and difficulties have been hard on my soul, I've risen again and am truly happy this holiday season. I've found one who loves me for me, faults, craziness, dumb moments, hurtful things I've done, they all slip away into the shadows and the real me is back again. Gone are those who's "love" is simply for selfish desires and taking everything I am from me. This time I mean to keep myself, and only become a more full and happy version, rather than forming my personality to someone else's. For those of you who don't know, I'm dating a lovely young woman who actually trusts and cares for me, just as I am.

SRT4

Did a few more mods on my car. How's it look?

Wow.. has it really flown by this fast??

I can't believe that I've neglected blogging for so long! Life has really grabbed me and dragged me into the full scale adult life!!

So... for those of you looking for an update to ensure I'm still alive, here goes!

Well, for one thing, I'm sure most of you know about my new baby sister, who now lives in Lawton Oklahoma. She was born June 22nd. Her name is Karissa Raquel. Sorry about the terrible quality, but here's the only picture I've got right now

Moving on, sad to say, my mustang had to be retired due to the cost of up keeping it, and the ridiculous price at the pump these days. It has been replaced with a 2005 Dodge SRT-4, which, although I do miss the convertible, I actually like my new car a lot better!! it has 4 doors, so I can take more people with me, it's smaller, lighter, and gets 28 mpg on the highway! (compared to 17-20 from the 'stang) The SRT-4 is black, which means it gets hot, but thankfully the A/C works really well. So well in fact, if I turn it up all the way, and it blows on my hands while I'm driving it makes them hurt from the cold! Here's a picture ;P

Anyway, in other news..

Since early this year I've been working at PCRMC in the laboratory as a phlebotomist and specimen processor. I'm sure you're asking "can you say that in English??" so.. a phlebotomist is somebody who draws blood. Technology has come a long ways, and they can pretty much figure out everything that's wrong with you just from your blood, so basically everybody who comes into the hospital has to have their blood drawn, usually several times. SO, its my job to pull out needles and terrify children!! JK!!! lol I usually do pretty good with the kids, even when they're terrified of needles :D Also, a big part of what I do is receive specimens of all sorts from all over the hospital, enter them into the computer system, spin things down on the centrifuge, and take them to the part of the lab they need to go to.

On top of that, I'm working part time whenever I get the chance at Von Ameris K-9 in salem with Ashley Riefer and Alyssa McCluskey. And to add to that, I still am pretty busy with my military duties, since lately I've had two AT's (two weeks of annual training) and been doing double drills, which means pretty much every single weekend I'm either at drill, or working at the hospital.

School starts up this coming monday.. not sure I'm really looking forward to it, but.. oh well..

I'm really wanting to find time in my busy life to make sure I'm not loosing the things I love. Being a grown-up isn't really all that fun at times.. SO, for those still not quite there who are reading this blog, PLEASE take advantage of the time while you've got it, before you know it you're going to be suddenly realizing that "free-time" doesn't exist, and all the fun things you used to do you don't have time for anymore. Bills are always due, and it always seems like I get more bills than paychecks!!

So anyway, if you're wondering why you never see me anymore, thats why :(

Hmm.. as to an inspiring morel to the post.. well, I can't say I have one, but I do want to make sure all of you know I'm still alive, still love life, and will be more than glad to cut a chunk out of all the hustle and bustle to stop and smell the flowers :)

Something I really love to do is go to the lake that's near my house, and get out on my kayak and enjoy nature and all the beauty of God's creation!

Hmm.. pictures.. let's see.... well, here's a picture of a blackhawk that flew over my house the other day.. it was pretty cool!

I must be going now, work calls..

I will try to stay a bit more updated on here though.

Also, if you would like more regular updates, be sure to visit my facebook profile, and don't forget to drop by my photography business page These Moments In Time

peace out!! Give me a call, comment, email, text message, facebook me, or something!! I'm still alive and well and always looking to try to make time for fun things or to help somebody out if they need it!

Bye now ;)